Bring on the Spring.

I haven't posted for a bit. I'm trying to decide if it's the weather or one of the other complaints on my list getting me down. Is it possible to have a delayed postpartum? I had PPD after Kat - so I wouldn't be surprised, it's just been so long - almost 9 months.
Samuel hasn't been sleeping very much. My days are long and the nights longer. After a week of no sleep, I think paranoia and anxiety set in. I wake up (or in my case decide to call it morning) more stressed than when I went to bed. My TMJ is so out of control. I am hoping to get my night guard soon - I just have so much pain in my face. Is it the lack of sleep, the time of year, or has my stress level just plateaued at numbness?
Sam's appointment is early tomorrow morning. I'm excited for him to tell me, "Samuel looks great!" I am confident about that at least. Sam looks better than ever! He looks ridgey to me, but the rest of his head is taking a very nice shape. Although the ridge does bug me, I've already decided that if anyone mentions it, it will only be another opportunity to create awareness.
Everyone keeps asking how ecstatic we are over the sale of our house finally. I think Mike is happy. I know I should be. Shouldn't I? Every house is hard to leave. Brown Street was tough, both of my little girls came home to that house from the hospital. Webster, wasn't as hard - but I didn't enjoy saying goodbye. To be honest, I felt a little cheated. Mike and I had gone 15 minutes early to do our last walk around and whatever we needed to do before handing the keys over, BUT the new owners' realtor was also there waiting. I was kind of mad. He followed us inside and made us feel unwelcome. We left our keys on the kitchen counter, and I left teary.
Webster was our baby too. We designed her and loved her and took care of her. I had a really hard time renting her, and then selling and finally leaving that day felt terrible.
Sometimes I wonder if because I'm a stay at home mom that leaving is harder. I'm here, I mean at home (where ever home has been) 90% of the time. I've used many excuses as to why I don't go out much. There has always been something. Usually, I have a baby with a baby schedule to adhere to. And for a long time, we only had one vehicle. Then throughout the past 6 years - I have babysat on and off. I've either had to be around for buses or pickups or, well, whatever...somedays I wonder if they are just 'excuses'. Maybe I should devote an entire section to the life of a SAHM (stay at home mom). I am very glad that I get to be at home with my kids, and I don't take that for granted. But I do miss the opportunity and privilege of working and using my creativity for something that someone's other than my own eyes can see. Nobody has ever said, "That's fantastic - you emptied the dishwasher, made all the beds, fed and got dressed all before 9 am! Why don't you take your coffee now?!" or "I really like what you've taught Sam to do this week - it must have been time consuming." Everybody needs a pat on the back - mine usually comes from my baby. "Good Job Mommy, being picked up is EXACTLY what I was thinking!"
* note: my blinkie has a spelling error. Funny. Now I need to use another blinkie:

ANYWAYS, bring on the spring. Bring on the sunshine, bring on the flowers, and all the melty weather. Bring the fresh air, and clear out this staleness. Oh and while we're bringing things....somebody bring a little Zzzzzzzzzzzzz's over to Sherlock. so very much needed, thanks.